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Dealing With Exes on Valentine’s Day
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Although, this is the first year in a very long time that I will be celebrating Valentine’s day with someone, I have always been the object of affection for someone in the past on previous Valentine’s Days. Don’t ask me why, but every Valentine’s Day I have received the dreaded and guilt tripping “let’s be friends but I still care for you” e-cards, drunken texts and late night phone calls from unknown numbers.
Since I’m with someone who has accepted my past, she is very aware that hearing from exes today is a huge possibility. Before leaving for a trip to Montreal to visit her family for a week last week, she told me that today is our day and that if I truly cared for her, I would avoid looking in my email and turn off my phone for the day–because today is just for her and I and that tomorrow is for writing about the exes on my personal dating blog.
So last night, in an effort to avoid unneeded ex drama, I house sitted for her until she got back in the morning from her trip. (I missed her so much that I even watched the new episode of Jersey Shore just to feel closer to her.)
I woke up this morning and put my phone on lock down. I was so proud of the fact that I had successfully avoided any uncomfortable situations with exes…that I didn’t consider an ex would be ruining my day—just not mine.
While waiting for Sabrina early this morning and killing myself with laughter over how ridiculously sexual the new Juicy Fruit commercial jingle sounds, I heard a knocking on her door.
I answered the door and there was a delivery man holding a bouquet of red roses and a small jewelery box. He asked for Sabrina and I said that I was her boyfriend and I would sign for her. His uncomfortable look said it all. These were flowers from someone from HER past. I signed it for her and promptly shut the door.
I couldn’t help myself. I read the small card that came with the flowers and it said: “Happy Valentine’s Day my sweet Sabrina. From the man who truly understands and loves you, Tom XOXO”
I then looked over at what I had bought Sabrina. Considering I’m almost flat broke this year, (being a struggling writer doesn’t help any) I had to be creative. I bought her a star with a framed certificate, a card that details how I feel for her and a bluray 3D copy of My Bloody Valentine. (One of her favorite horror remakes)
Although it wasn’t much, I was really confident these gifts would please her, but now that I saw her extravagant gifts from her ex, Tom, I felt like total and utter crap and something told me that this was my karma. How could I compete with a man who treated her like gold while I spent the previous years treating the one I love like sh*t? I deserved this.
While contemplating throwing his gifts off her balcony, Sabrina came waltzing in from her trip. She looked so happy to see the flowers and the jewelry…that was until I said they weren’t from me.
She then mouthed the words, ‘uh-oh.’ She read the card on the flowers and then opened the jewelry box. I looked down in shame.
She was silent.
She then asked me what was on the table and I told her it was nothing. She then walked over and opened my gifts. I was sure she was going to dump me on the spot.
To my surprise, she hugged and kissed me and told me that these were the best Valentine’s gifts she had ever received. She had said that her ex’s gifts made her laugh, because if he truly understood her, he would know that she loves lilac roses, is allergic to gold and is in love with me. She then said that I am and was always the one to understand her–because I knew the key to happiness and love is all about the little things.
She said she would deal with him and send the jewelry back in the morning because just like she had told me last week, today is about her and I.
She then gave me one of her presents (something I should not divulge) before sending on my way to work.
What started out as one of the most gut-wrenching mornings of my life–quickly turned into one of the best days of my life and I’m glad that I felt like that earlier, because now I know I have something to lose and I’m not afraid of bailing to avoid hurt feelings.
So today, I’m officially deleting all exes from my blackberry (as anyone should rightfully do) and map down the coordinates for ‘Forever Sabrina’–the star I had named after her, so I can show her tonight.
When you really love someone, ex lovers really are a thing of the past–especially when you’re “star-crossed lovers.”
Do any of you have ex drama this Valentine’s Day? How are you spending it? Let me know!